31 March 09 - 19:57Happy Birthday Al Gore!
61 years old!
The planet thanks you too.
-Albert Cirrus
30 March 09 - 18:43Dildo of the Week
He was for the EFCA before he was against it.
Come 2010, he will be a loser.
-Albert Cirrus
25 March 09 - 07:58Malkintented is Also an Anti-Choice Freak
Michelle is pimping a petition to stop Obama from going to Notre Dame. I'm sorry, but this religious abortion issue really pisses me off. Can we start caring more about poverty and social justice and stop trying to control reproductive freedom? You know what, anti-choicers don't care about life, they just want control to please their god and their sexist desires. Well, fuck them!
Obama is trying to save the economy and these fascist pricks just care about abortion. He is coming to Notre Dame whether you like it or not, so fuck off.
-Albert Cirrus
23 March 09 - 20:17The Pope is Full of Shit
The Pope's crusade against condoms.
Benedict, arriving in Africa, said on Tuesday that condoms "increase the problem" of AIDS.
Bullshit ratboy. To say that would be like saying "wearing a seatbelt leads to more car injuries." When you demonize condoms, you are saying that you want more people to get AIDS; there's no way around that. Just go back to the Vatican and STFU.
-Albert Cirrus
23 March 09 - 15:45Enough
I'm really sick of reading these stories.
I also don't want to hear about how tasering saves lives cause it prevents cops from using their real guns. Tasers are lethal weapons and they should be banned in most scenarios.
-Albert Cirrus
21 March 09 - 23:19NaPalin Doesn't Want Our Stinking Money
NaPalin doesn't want to help out her state, that's what I get from this. I guess only when the money goes to pointless bridges will she accept it. I love this line:
"To me it's a bribe,"
Yeah a bribe like giving every Alaskan money from the oil companies.
I'm glad this idiot is not VP "also."
-Albert Cirrus
21 March 09 - 23:07Dildo of the Week
"God, all this love and everything in the room - I'm horny."
Ewwwwww!!!!!
-Albert Cirrus
20 March 09 - 16:18At Least Obama Acknowledges that he is Joking
Malkintented asks the question why can't Obama tell a good joke? Yes the special olympic joke might not have been in good taste, but at least he acknowledges that it is a joke. I mean, Malkintented takes herself too seriously.
Ha ha ha, you harass 12 year olds.
Ha ha ha, you support internment.
Ha ha ha, you accused Rachael Ray of supporting terrorism cause of something she wore.
Ha ha ha, you are bat-shit crazy and you dress up like a cheerleader.
-Albert Cirrus
19 March 09 - 21:37Capital Punishment for the Death Penalty
Finally, New Mexico has joined the civilized world.
-Albert Cirrus
19 March 09 - 09:55Lost Productivity
I wrote this last year as a parody for all the studies that come out every year showing lost business productivity due to March Madness.
Lost Productivity
Boise Idaho-Every year, the NCAA basketball tournament also known to sports fans as “March Madness” costs businesses billions in revenue due to employees being less productive. Also every year, researchers come out with studies showing the amount of money lost. Now there is a stunning new trend on the rise: loss of productivity due to loss of productivity studies.
“We never saw it coming” says the CEO of Gerbilco Walter Pinkton “this company alone is losing millions from it.”
Yes that’s right, those “harmless” studies done on lost productivity costs businesses money.
Professor Louis Appletree of Southern Idaho Technological University has come out with the first report of its kind on this unusual but costly new trend. ... (more)
18 March 09 - 20:52Don't Fuck with Stewart
You know that scene from the Last Samarai when the heir of Hubbard Tom Cruise kept fighting that dude and he kept getting the shit kicked out of him and he kept getting up and I was like "stay down!"? Well, I feel that way about the people at NBC who keep trying to pick a fight with Jon Stewart like Jim Cramer; just stay down god damn it!
Now the head dude of NBC wants to fuck with him. Dude, you are going to get your ass kicked, just accept that Stewart beat Cramer and end it for the love of Darwin!
-Albert Cirrus
18 March 09 - 19:10Dodd Should Resign
He has now admitted that he is the one who allowed the millions of dollars of bonuses to AIG executives. He is also a major receiver of campaign money from them too. He should resign from the Senate and allow another Democrat to run in his place. Ned Lamont anybody?
-Albert Cirrus
17 March 09 - 21:17There Might be Hope for Republicans
I like Meghan, she is going after the crazies on her side.
"Why are we so obsessed with weight?" she said. "When Tyra Banks went on her show in her bathing suit and said, 'Kiss my fat ass...' That's what I feel right now. I'm like, 'Kiss my fat ass!'"
You hear that Ingraham?
And Coulter has no ass, either she's too skinny to have an ass or the crap comes out of her mouth instead.
-Albert Cirrus
16 March 09 - 20:16Dildo of the Week
What is it with Senate Republicans and Airport mishaps?
-Albert Cirrus
14 March 09 - 22:27Happy Fuckin' Pi Day
3-14
Almost forgot, fuck Ann Coulter!
-Albert Cirrus
10 March 09 - 07:22Dildo of the Week
You fat piece of shit, fuck you.
Limbaugh is killing the Republican Party, maybe they should call his show the "GOP Memorial Radio Show."
-Albert Cirrus
06 March 09 - 16:45Return of the "Welfare Queen" Bullshit
I've felt the entire conservative mantra about poor people is that if they aren't entirely miserable, they deserve no pity. Malkintented is no different.
I mean, how dare him! Oh the outrage! And it has a camera attached to it!
I was talking to my sister the other day and she told me that it's getting hard to find a cell phone without a camera. Plus, if he is homeless, than he wouldn't have a home and a land line. So if he wanted to communicate, he would have to have a cell phone, duh. But these conservatives like Malkintented are so fucking uncompassionate, they can't see beyond their own assholishness.
-Albert Cirrus
04 March 09 - 20:54I Don't Get Malkintented
First she complains about an amendment failing to remove only 16 million dollars worth of pork then calls an effort to remove pork through a line item veto a "Gimmick. Distraction. Waste of time."
So what is it Michelle?
-Albert Cirrus
03 March 09 - 11:11Luckily Limbaugh has a Huge Ass
So everyone in the Republican Party can kiss it.
-Albert Cirrus
02 March 09 - 16:30The Magic Fish
A man was fishing on his favorite lake one day when he got a bite at the end of his pole and pulled a fish out of the water. He unhooked the fish and it started to talk to him.
Fish: "Please release me back into the lake and I will grant you three wishes."
The man was delighted and started to think of what he wanted.
Man: "For my first wish, I want a million dollars."
Fish: "It will be granted, once you get back home, you will have the money in your bank account."
Man: "Awesome. For my second wish, I want a beautiful wife."
Fish: "It will be granted also, her name will be Pamela. What do you want for your third and final wish?"
The man had to ponder over it for a second and asked the fish a question.
Man: "Why does it have to be three wishes?"
Fish: "Cause that’s the set number."
Man: "Well, can I wish for more wishes?"
Fish: "No, everybody gets only three."
Man: "Everybody? ... (more)
02 March 09 - 07:58Dildo of the Week
With all the fucking shit going on at CPAC, it's kind of hard to single one of those dude out, so I found this dude who wants you to pay to take a piss or shit on a plane. Seriously. As Bill Hicks once said, "you scumbags, quit putting a godamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!"
-Albert Cirrus
01 March 09 - 09:22Holy Freakin' Crap
My nomination so far for the wingnut piece of shit piece of the year.
-Albert Cirrus
